Breathe
by How Many Seconds
Summary: Donatello has always been one to try his best to solve each issue the turtles encounter, it is only when his human allies become injured that everything starts to crumble


**Authors Notes: **

**Disclaimer: These characters are _not_ my own, they are property of Nickelodeon. No copyright infringement intended, no profit being made. **

**Based on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 2012 franchise.**

**_Warning:_ Rated M/MA for violence, gore and hints of coarse language.**

**_(Relationships: April and Casey: Engaged)(sorry if some people dislike this, it was just an idea I decided to explore). _**

* * *

_All he could think about was the pain. _

_The pain had been slight- at first- but now it was quite unbearable, something April and the turtles were certain to notice and were attempting to solve. He could already feel Donatello attempting to treat the wound: applying pressure to the area in desperate attempts to stop the bleeding, muttering about how deep the wound appeared to be, cussing those who had done this. At least, it wasn't April currently experiencing such severe amounts of pain- Casey wouldn't let April be wounded if he could stop it from occurring- it was better him than her experiencing something so unpleasant. Still, despite his efforts-despite whatever he attempted to focus upon- all he could think about was the pain, something that increased due to the amount of pressure being placed upon the wound. _

Holy crap, Casey.

_Donatello shook his head, dumbfounded- clutching the human in a supportive hold- tears wetting his cheeks with speed upon noticing the amount of blood soaking the older teens clothing. _

"_Don?" Leonardo pleaded- looking to his younger brother, wanting to understand how severe his friends condition was- his lips trembling, stroking Jones' cheek upon noticing his friends obvious pain. _

"_It'll be ok, Casey; I promise." Michelangelo whispered, clutching his friends shoulder in a soothing hold- stroking the older teens shoulder, shaking his head- disbelieving of what was currently happening. April remained quiet, which was unlike her and unlike other situations the team had been involved in. Donatello- who held the older teen- swallowed hard, doing all he could to aid his friend but seeing no improvements in the wound that ailed his chest: slowly removing the weapon from the wound, doing all he could to stop the bleeding by: continuing to apply pressure to the area in desperate attempts to stop the bleeding, muttering about how deep the wound appeared to be, cussing those who had done this. _

"_I need to remove his shirt to better access the wound." Donatello ordered, slowly unzipping his friends fleece-in attempts to be as gentle as possible- dry-heaving when noticing how much blood Casey had already lost._

* * *

April O'Neil adjusted herself in front of the tombstone- a collection of flowers within one hand, umbrella within another- allowing herself time to read the stone:

_Here Lies Arnold Bernid "Casey" Jones_

_Beloved Son, Brother, Fiancé and Friend_

_1st March, 1995 15th November, 2014_

_Live Life to the Fullest, It Is Too Short _

The flowers that had been left- previously, presumably by Casey's father and sister- had begun to whittle and fade in colour: the whites, reds and greens becoming greyed and unenjoyable.

April thought of Casey each day, _especially_ on special occasions or whenever the turtles mentioned him, which tended to be quite often: she often wished to have Casey sat alongside them, doing simple activities like: talking or watching Michelangelo's and Leonardo's television programs, like they had done as a family a while ago; she missed her fiancé, a _lot_ and struggled to remember times of happiness due to the negative emotions she had been forced to endure due to Casey's absence.

Of course, not every thought and memory regarding her fiancé was corrupted with sadness- no, April would _hate_ herself if she couldn't recall her fiancé in a positive way- but the positive thoughts and memories had been difficult to recollect after seeing the death of someone so dear to her: after witnessing her fiancé die so traumatically as he did. The positive thoughts and memories had taken some persuasion to show but- with the aid of several counsellors, the turtles and her father- April was managing to battle with her grief and: was now able to see Casey's soft smile, was now able to feel his warming hugs and his tender lips against her own, and was now able to picture his lovingness whenever she closed her eyes.

"Hi, Casey- "April swallowed, sometimes- on the occasion, whenever she spoke her fiancés name- emotions would erupt within her and the memories of Casey's death would corrupt her thoughts making her current circumstances difficult to deal with. Placing the collection of flowers upon the soil, April knelt alongside her fiancés stone- placing her free hand upon the wetted marble, kneeling within the wetted soil. "It's been several months and time seems to have passed _so_ slowly since then. Not a moment ticks where I don't think about you and I know it's the same for everyone else as they're _always_ talking about you and how much they miss you."

Despite her attempts at remaining composed, April felt tears wetting her cheeks: the odd sob escaping her lips, which she bit upon in attempts to conceal the amount of emotion she was experiencing.

"I'm trying _so_ hard to be ok without you here- I'm trying _so_ hard to come to some form of acceptance without you here- which is somewhat working with the help of several counsellors, the turtles and my father. I am progressing with my management of the negative emotions I feel but I understand I'll never be able to forget you, I can't and won't let myself forget you." April sighed as she caressed her fiancés marble stone, lowering her head as she continued to speak. "I _have_ managed to move some of your equipment from the lair, despite how negative I felt when doing so. I decided the items would be better in my apartment, rather than the lair- I couldn't bring myself to throw anything out- so, I decided I'd keep the equipment as a keepsake: something to look at for comfort whenever I feel lonely." April chuckled, slightly- a small smile spreading to her lips.

"I found myself at your apartment the other day; wondering if you wanted to talk."

April fiddled with the umbrella-turning it within her sweat-coated hands- sighing.

"You must think I'm an idiot, doing something so silly and uncanny. I- myself- felt like an idiot: being at your apartment when you're-" April suddenly sighed, stood and straightened herself up- too upset to remain where she was- looking down at her fiancés marble stone, once again reading the stone: still dumbfounded at the events that had unfolded previous months ago- and put her free hand within her pocket. Forcing a smile, April offered the stone a last look before beginning her walk back to her car-walking slow and with heaviness in her heart, dighting at her wet cheeks with her free hand. "I love and miss you, Casey but don't worry about me; I'll be ok- I'm ok- the turtles will make sure I'm ok." April swallowed, hard- eventually, arriving at her car- shaking the rain from her umbrella before placing it with the vehicles boot. "Ish."

* * *

"_Holy crap, Casey." Whispered Raphael- biting his lip in attempts to remain composed and collected in such a situation- noticing the amount of blood his friend was losing and how rapidly he was losing his consciousness. _

_Casey offered the turtle a weak, small smile- which soon became a pained wince and a cough of viscous blood- clenching his eyes shut in attempts to control or at least avoid the pain but ouch, being stabbed _really_ hurt._

"_It'll be ok, Casey- I know it hurts but you're going to be ok; I promise." April nodded in agreement, helping her fiancé lean forward- understanding that they needed to remove his shirt to get better access to the wound in order to better treat it- helping remove his shirt, taking care not to touch the wound. Casey groaned- softly- his head leaning back onto Donatello's shoulder, body too weak to remain up-straight itself: coughs escaping his lips. Donatello pulled Casey further into his arms- noticing as his friend whimpered and flinched from the pain that radiated throughout his body, something that caused the turtle to become softer with the human- Casey's head coming to rest in the nook of the turtle's arm._

"_Casey, what have you done?" Whispered April, clutching her fiancés hand- stroking the back of it with her thumb in desperate attempts to keep him roused- noticing how much blood he had already lost. After the readjustment Donatello made to the clutch upon him, Casey managed to- completely- view the wound ailing his chest and the amount of blood soaking his chest immediately caused him to become shocked at how he was still conscious._

"_It's ok, Red; I promise, it'll be ok. The turtles will look after you." Casey managed before whimpering, choking upon blood that effervesced within his mouth: whimpering as Donatello applied further pressure to the wound- worried for his friend, desperate to stop the bleed: not entirely sure how to treat such a severe alignment, having minimal knowledge on the human anatomy._

"_No, you can. You're going to fine, Casey."_

* * *

April clutched her fiancés hockey stick within her hand- her thumb caressing the wood, somehow managing to avoid getting splinters-her cheek pressed to the cooled, cotton pillows that were becoming sodden with her tears.

"Oh, Casey; why, why would you do this?" April whispered, dighting at her heavy eyes in attempts to clear the blur from her vision- clutch tightening around her fiancé's hockey stick, pulling the object to her chest- whimpers of emotional pain escaping her lips. Despite the duvet providing her with warmth- trying to provide her with amounts of comfort- all April felt was numbness, neutralness: both emotionally and physically.

Horrible wasn't even the word for this emotion and- despite receiving aid from several counsellors, the turtles and her father- April was still struggling with everything, her fiancés death was so difficult to deal with. Sometimes, she believed she _couldn't_ deal with the situation, accompanied or alone- she loved and missed Casey, _so_ much- it felt as though she had been the one who had died that day those several months ago: to be honest, something within her _had_ died that day those several months ago. Despite receiving aid from several counsellors, the turtles and her father April understood she'd never feel the same again, no matter how hard she tried.

Despite her depressiveness, April soon succumbed to the call of sleep-her forehead leant against her fiancé's hockey stick- hair wet with tears, stuck to her pillow.

Meanwhile- within the training hall- Raphael sat cross-legged on the multicoloured, carpeted floor: his eyes closed, trying- desperately- to find some form of tranquillity. To his left sat Michelangelo, to his right sat Donatello- each of them sat in a straight line, each of them sat in the same position- attempting to meditate, though not really being successful when attempting to relax. Despite this, the turtle was sure that all of his brothers were doing their best to do as Leonardo instructed: the turtle was sure that all of his brothers were doing their best to mediate. Even Raphael- himself, the remaining hothead on the team: the one with the most attitude- was doing his best to meditate, though his mind appeared to be too distracted to let him have even just a little peace. Leonardo- the leader of the team, who was leading the session of meditation- also sat cross-legged, making little noise: the noise level being so low that all they were able to hear was each other's breathing.

Raphael- often- wondered if his brothers decided to close their eyes: they had been closed at the start of the exercise because he had checked before closing his own but- considering the circumstances- it was easy for each of them to become distracted, especially when trying to meditate or sleep: the memories of Casey's death would corrupt their thoughts whenever they attempted to quieten their minds.

Raphael tended to become distracted throughout meditation sessions because of what had happened months prior and whenever he did become distracted Leonardo would always scold his younger brother and- despite the circumstances- Leonardo always knew whenever his brothers couldn't focus upon the exercise at hand. Last week, Raphael had had similar issues- being unable to focus upon the exercise at hand- and had been scolded by Leonardo, as a result. The time before that, Leonardo had decided to scold Donatello- who had entered a meltdown due to lack of sleep caused by unpleasant memories and extreme, reoccurring guilt caused by the fact he had been unable to treat Casey's wound: which the turtle believed had resulted in his friend's death- which had resulted in Donatello being excused from the session, being forced to do a total of ten flips before being sent to bed. Leonardo acted similar to a father- nowadays- not their brother, something that irritated Raphael: especially whenever the leader scolded the trio, each of them were able to look after themselves without the orders from their brother. Still- despite how irritating Leonardo's orders were- his brothers understood- most of the time- that he was only trying to support and advise them to the best of his ability, even if he- himself- was hurting. Most of the time- whenever Raphael tried to meditate, whenever Raphael tried to relax his mind- the memories of Casey's death would corrupt his thoughts, making sitting still a very difficult task. The unpleasant memories made it impossible for his to concentrate on anything else, including mediation- which only managed to illuminate the memories.

* * *

_By now, a voluminous pool of blood coated the dirty concrete: some washing away with the increasingly heavy rain that continued to fall- the blood all belonging to Casey- each turtle and April being knelt within it, not really caring for how disturbing it was to be knelt within their comrades blood, wanting to do anything they could to aid him. Alas- despite how hard Donatello tried-the bleeding didn't appear to be showing signs of stopping or even slowing. It was a fact that terrified each of the turtles and April, the last thing she wanted was for her fiancé to die. Leonardo- having minimal abilities in treating wounds, after being taught by Donatello- had even collected the teens clothing and had requested his brothers to remove their masks which he had formed into a bundle: the bundle now being pressed against his friends chest with pressure, desperately trying to stop the bleeding: though his efforts were to little avail, the bundle being of little use now. _

"_You'll be ok." April whispered desperately, though disbelieving her own words of comfort. "You're going to fine, Casey."_

"_Tell my father and sister I love them." Casey added, his breaths becoming shortened with each ticking second, whimpering as Leonardo and Donatello- now- both applied pressure to the wound, using the sodden masks as a useless aid in the situation. By now, Casey was so pale- and was becoming so still and unmoving within Donatello's clutch- his breathing was beginning to slow, his eyes rolling within his head: making each of the turtles and April distraught with panic. _

"_No_!" Heaved Raphael, becoming desperate for air that didn't come. Immediately, each of his brothers- including Leonardo- were alongside him, Donatello placing a comforting hand upon his brothers shaking shoulders.

"Raph?" Michelangelo questioned, a hand upon his brothers arm- trying to offer him some form of stability- shaking his head upon realising what the flashback had been about. Raphael only swallowed, eyes remaining fixated upon the multicoloured, carpeted floor as his brothers repositioned him to sit upon his shell.

"I-I need some air; I'll be back soon." Leonardo nodded- allowing his brother permission to leave- watching as the turtle stood before leaving the lair.

* * *

Despite her depressiveness, April had succumbed to the call of sleep-her forehead leant against her fiancé's hockey stick- hair wet with tears, stuck to her pillow.

"_Donnie, we need to get him to a hospital." Michelangelo- being a usual voice of reason- whispered, swallowing hard upon realising all actions would be useless in helping. Donatello- shocked at what was happening- nodded in agreement- allowing Raphael to collect the older teen within his arms, noticing as the teen whimpered in protest: more blood seeping from the wound. Casey let out a pained wheeze, stopping Raphael in his tracks- who had walked nothing but a few feet- lowering the teen to the concrete, pulling Casey further into his arms: Casey's head coming to rest in the nook of the turtle's arm. _

"_Sit-" Casey managed before whimpering, choking upon blood that effervesced within his mouth: weakly tugging at his friends wraps that supported his plastron. _

"_Please, Casey; you idiot- nothing else is working- we need to get you to a hospital. Please, I can't lose you. I won't." Raphael was distraught with panic, wanting and needing to do something to help him; fuck, Casey was his best friend and he couldn't do _anything_ to help him. Everything the turtles had- previously- tried in order to treat the wound had been to no avail, the bleeding wasn't stopping. _

_How the teen was still conscious, Raphael had no idea. _

Goosebumps of fear erupted on April's skin as she woke, screaming- her tangled sheets wet with sweat, pillows scattered on the floor- tears wetting her cheeks, her previous hold upon her fiancé's hockey stick relaxed. Catching her breath, April looked around the dark room- desperate to understand whereabouts she was- the familiar scent of the lair soon telling her that she was safe- no, she wasn't home but she was safe-the familiar scent of the lair soon easing her panic, though doing very little to stop her crying. Despite her depressiveness, April laid back down, taking deep breaths in attempts to remain composed and allowed herself to cry. Recollecting her clutch around her fiancé's hockey stick, April allowed her thumb to caress the wood- somehow managing to avoid getting splinters.

Donatello- who had been observing April throughout her nightmare, out of concern- leant against the doorway- the darkness concealing his presence-wincing upon hearing April's screams and sobs: he'd been sat there for three quarters of an hour: not really knowing what to do, understanding there was very little he could do to ease her pain. However hard the turtles tried to help her, April remained affected by what had happened: despite how difficult it was for the turtles to see her so upset, their comfort did very little to help her. Donatello- desperate to help April sleep- had even read medical books in attempts to understand her condition- now knowing that the stress of the past events had finally reached April's unconscious mind, haunting her in her sleep- and had prescribed her with a sleeping aid, which didn't appear to be helping in any ways.

"April?" Donatello whispered: no longer able to observe his friend sobbing- cautious not to startle her, though not being very successful with his attempt- causing the teen to turn on the light, her sobs somewhat quietening upon realising that Donatello had been watching her sleep.

"Hi, Don." April responded, tucking her knees under her chin, hugging them close to her chest- swallowing hard- as Donatello sat upon the bed, placing a hand within April's.

"It's ok, April; it was just a nightmare. You're safe here with us, we will _always_ protect you." Donatello soothed- offering the older teen a hug which she accepted- hugging the warmth Donatello provided, attempting to breathe after such an event. Eventually- after some effort- April managed to calm herself, her breathing returning to a state of normality.

"I know."

"Well, would you like to tell me about your nightmare? If it still upsets you, we can talk about it in the morning. You don't have to tell me- or do- anything you don't want to." April said nothing, remaining quiet- thinking about whether or not to tell Donatello, knowing he had some idea of what her nightmare had been about- a lone tear rolling down her cheek as her eyes became closed, momentarily. Her bottom lip trembled. Wetness stung her eyes, her lone tear soon being accompanied by several others that slipped down her nose: one by one before entering her mouth, the salty substance making her cringe. April soon shook her head, knowing the turtle was trying to be there for her but not wanting to be eased from the pain because it was something that- in her opinion- she did not deserve: she did not deserve their words of comfort.

"_It's ok." Whispered Casey- miraculously managing to talk, despite the amount of blood that effervesced within his mouth- hugging Raphael's warmth, the turtle becoming disturbed at how cold his friend was. _

"_No, it's not." Leonardo whispered, now knelt alongside the trio- having been following his brother closely- not knowing what to do, feeling useless and hopeless: placing a hand within Casey's, each of the turtles and April crowding around the older teen: protectively. _

"_It's too late. It's too much-" Casey whimpered, a spasm of pain wracking his body: causing him to release a pained heave, cradling Raphael closer. _

"_No, stay with us- please." Donatello pleaded, lips trembling- thoughts frantic for ideas of how he could help: anything, thoughts frantic for something to do- hands light upon the teen's shoulders. Casey- eyes still unfocused- appeared to be looking at some unseen spot behind them. _

"_I can feel it. It's too much." Goosebumps of fear erupted on April's skin, the worst thoughts entering her head within seconds of hearing those words. _

"_I lo-" Casey tried to speak past the increasing amount of blood within his mouth- Casey tried to communicate with the turtles and April in order to tell them how much he loved them, how much he had _always_ loved them- but he couldn't make his mouth form words, even if he did attempt to talk: Donatello would be sure to shush him, like a mother shushing an ailing child- understanding that if Casey spoke, it'd exhaust him. _

_Casey's body jerked a little- a spasm of pain wracking his body- his eyes attempting to focus upon the turtles and April, April especially. _

"_Casey, look at me." Casey only blinked- eyes remaining fixated upon the unseen spot behind them- not saying anything else, his breaths becoming quieter. _

"_Casey?" Michelangelo added his voice, pleading with the teen to say something. _

"_Casey? Casey- please- come _on_!" April cried, placing a kiss against Casey's forehead- her breaths shaking upon realising how cold he currently was- her tears slipping onto his forehead before running down his nose, one by one: wanting to rouse her fiancé, unbelieving of what was happening. _

"_Casey?" Leonardo asked, biting his lip- nose expanding as he sighed- sobs escaping his lips, despite how hard he attempted to remain contained. Casey said nothing, remaining quiet- eyes rolling within his head- his body becoming flaccid in Raphael's protective hold, a lone tear rolling down his porcelain cheek as his eyes became closed: body ignoring the blood-coated pats Leonardo gave his cheek, breaths so slowed it appeared his chest had stilled._

"It's ok, Donnie; I don't want to talk about it, not now."

* * *

"_Casey? Casey, stay with me." Raphael shook the teen, violently: honestly, not caring about how rough he was being- desperate to rouse his friend- not willing to lose his best friend, not now. This wasn't right, this wasn't fair: the turtles had promised- on multiple occasions- that they'd never allow anything this serious to happen to either of their human allies but now Casey was dying in Raphael's arms: everyone unable to do anything to aid him. Casey was supposed to grow old with them, not die so young: not like this. _

"_Casey, stay with me-" Raphael's voice broke- being very out-of-character when saying this, something that didn't usually happen- in fact Raphael's voice breaking had only happened on two occasions: when Leonardo had been so severely wounded and when their father had died. _

"_Casey, please; you hothead, you can't." Raphael's hand clutched his friend's cheek as he shook the teen, violently- managing to make him wake: Casey's eyes scanning the perimeter before landing on April, their eyes meeting. The look he gave lasted only a moment but he put all of himself into it- he put all of his love he had for her and all the words he couldn't say into this momentary look- the look being so meaningful that the times she and Casey had shared and the future April was supposed to have with her fiancé flashed before her eyes. _

_Then, everything stilled._


End file.
